Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
