I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
