If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
