I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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