a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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