i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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