I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
