he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
