grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
