where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
