Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
