I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.