You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
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