If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
