there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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