Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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