Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
