god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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