Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
