In the future we'll all be gay
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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