Your mouth is God's brothel.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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