waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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