office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
