You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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