before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
