You're completely useless in the revolution.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
