We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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