Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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