so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
