I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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