i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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