More tranny stories later!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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