In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
