if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
