Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
