just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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