dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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