ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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