She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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