did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
