Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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