Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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