omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
