Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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