is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
