This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
