Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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