Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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