just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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