I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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