I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
