How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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