my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize