The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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