something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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