it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
