Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
