Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize