is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
