i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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