i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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